Cute doll, or menace?

Okay, I fess up! I bought the Clawdeen Wolf doll from Mattel’s new Monster High line. I have to admit, I feel a slight twinge of embarrassment whenever I look at it on the shelf amidst my other werewolf memorabilia. At times, I’m not entirely sure why I bought it. Perhaps it was a moment of weakness, a form of self-punishment or something else altogether.

The doll also appears to present other general problems. As was pointed out at a couple of sites I frequent (Werewolf-News and the She-Wolf Blog), the entire doll line seems to have been put forth with good intentions but falls short of the mark. Here is a quote from Mattel Brands general manager Tim Kilpin:

“They’re fun characters to build a world around. Who doesn’t feel like a freak in high school? It started with that universal truth.”

Sounds nice enough. Yet, while this quote seems to encourage embracing your awkward teenage years, the description of the back of Clawdeen’s box comes across as contradictory:

“Plucking and shaving is definitely a full time job but that’s a small price to pay for being scarily fabulous.”

The copy seems innocuous enough. (Jokes about werewolves shaving their legs are far from new.) However, this is more than just some sort of werewolf punchline. This is a toy line that’s trying to teach girls it’s okay to be different, but the underlying truth may be that the character is not comfortable as she is and has to put in extra effort to fit in and be “scarily fabulous”.

Honestly, I didn’t think much of any of this at first. When I initially saw the doll, my only thought was, “Hey! A female werewolf doll! I’m surprised she’s not a werecat.” Then again, I’m a 26 year old woman that has worked to put her teenage years behind her. I don’t have the same worries that a 13 year old me had. I don’t have to panic anymore because I’d forgotten to shave my legs and I only had a pair of shorts for gym that day. Or that maybe that one guy that teased me in class was right and I DID have a visible moustache because of my darker hair colour. Those former worries are the same worries that I’m sure plague today’s teenage girls, and apparently, today’s teenage werewolves. So, does that make Clawdeen a bad influence, or simply more relatable?

I’m sure some would point out that there are even more issues with the characters of Monster High than just one fuzzy-legged werewolf. The way they dress, the way they act, etc. But let’s face it, no one is going to make a true to life doll line. Preaching acceptance of yourself and then quietly contradicting is not a new concept. There will always be a certain amount of “be yourself, but only if you dress this way or buy this” bombarding teenagers.

Do I think the doll is a problem? I’m not really sure. I guess the real question should be: are any dolls really a problem? Just because these particular dolls resemble classic film monsters, does it make them any better or worse than most of what else is out in the market? If a real discussion is to be had, I think it should be an all or none debate, not case by case.

There is one thing I can tell you though: teenage life isn’t easy. Never has been, and never will be. To quote The Princess Bride, “Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something.”

I know that, deep down, I have always wanted to act. I was excited for every class play in elementary school, worked to be cast in every one we did in middle school and fought for roles throughout high school. It’s just always been a driving force in my life.

Admittedly, high school kind of killed it for me, and for a few years after, I had no confidence in myself as an actor. Try as I might to get into the plays, my high school drama teacher continually cast her same set of favourites. I remember actually turning down a bit role one year because I was so sick of her casting the same assortment of misfits in the one-liner positions.

I finally got a break when we did Measure for Measure. My chance was unintentional as I was actually cast as a backup for one of the main roles. However, for one reason or another, a few people got shifted and I was bumped into the permanent spot. Even though I’m not a fan of Shakespeare, I was pleased to have finally gotten a chance. Also, unlike many of the favourites I was cast alongside, I never forgot a line or missed a cue. It may just have been a high school play, but acting meant so much to me and I felt compelled to get it right.

I got a few more roles after that, but, as mentioned, my overall experience in high school killed the joy of acting for me for quite a few years after. As much as I wanted to take theatre classes in college, I never had the confidence to do so. I eventually took up modeling as a form of acting, but it was never quite enough. I also picked up the occasional scare actor position at haunted attractions, but it’s not quite the same either.

More recently, I came into contact with a group of people that is largely comprised of actors. Through them, I got another shot at acting, and this time, in front of a camera. I can’t explain just how amazing this return to acting has been for me.

This past Saturday, I was actually filming for a web series. I’d felt like hell all day, but the minute I got in front of the camera and started running my lines, it was like something clicked on in my head. My headache cleared, my aches seemed to ease up, and for those hours of filming, I was another person. We ended up filming until three in the morning, and as soon as I was wrapped, everything flooded back and I was dead on my feet.

Saturday night made me remember why I’d ever wanted to act in the first place. Sure, I’d done some odds and ends before that, and had even filmed in a few small projects, but this was different. For the first time in a long while, I really felt like and actor. Whether or not my actual performance will look as good as it felt is yet to be seen. I hope that it will.