Make friends with Mr. Period.

I know that I have a tendency to grouse about any number of things on a regular basis. While I do have a tendency towards hyperbole, there is one thing that really does bother me as much as I say it does: proper grammar and spelling. This is especially true of e-mails I receive during my work day.

At times I wonder if people have forgotten that correct spelling and grammar are more than just a formality, and that sentence structure and paragraphs exist for a reason. These things are tools meant to help you convey something to the receiver, and have it be understood correctly. As we are all aware, reading can be a very subjective process. It is easy to misinterpret information and tone without any other sort of context. The better job you can do at making your statements clear, the better chance it will have of being deciphered accurately.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not asking that everyone be exemplary spellers with a wide vocabulary, or use loads of punctuation. I’m also not saying that making a mistake is unacceptable. All I’m saying is that even an elementary school knowledge should have been able to set people up with the ability to construct basic, simple and concise sentences. Sometimes I get e-mails that make me feel like I should print them up, mark corrections in red pen and then send them back with a grade. Many people wouldn’t pass.

With regard to spelling, almost every program you can type in these days is equipped with a spellchecker. Even web browsers now carry this technology, so yes, you too can correctly spell words in your Facebook updates. However, this technology is a tool, not a substitute for thinking. A spellchecker is not going to be able to discern if you know the difference between there, their and they’re. Nor will it help you with your, you’re, were, we’re, accept, except, should have, should of, should’ve, etc. These words are not interchangeable, and using the incorrect one can completely change the meaning of a statement. For example, I was at the mall some years ago and there was a promotional car parked on the walkway. Someone thought it would be funny to write on the paper license plate. Unless they had a very odd sense of humour, what they wrote was incorrect. Instead of writing “you’re gay” they wrote “your gay”. As in, “here, take this gay. It was my gay, but now it’s your gay.”

Of course, there are times where proper spelling and grammar are difficult to carry out. I don’t fault people on World of Warcraft (well, sometimes I do) for typing in short hand so that they can get back to killing things. I suppose I can also handle the odd text message containing things meant to replace actual words like “2″, “U” and “R”, even though they make me die a little inside. I also don’t fault people who are not native English speakers. I DO fault those who are writing professional e-mails, but can’t be bothered to capitalize the first letters of sentences or use any sort of logical punctuation. I know they are capable of typing in caps because they will emphasize something completely unnecessary by TYPING IT LIKE THIS.

I know I’m not perfect. I know no one is perfect. The thing is, there is a difference between making an error and not even trying. I also know I’m not the only one irritated by the disinterest people have in their writing, so I leave you with a link to the Punctuation Pals from Penny-Arcade. You’re welcome.

Dear Moviegoers,

Could you kindly explain exactly what in the hell is wrong with most of you? Do you feel that the movie theatre is somehow an extension of your own private living room? Do you feel that the $11 or $12 you paid for admission grants you special privileges?

I, for one, did not pay my money at the door to come watch the movie with your running feature commentary. Is it really that difficult to quiet yourself for the couple hours of film running time? Perhaps you need some sort of medication to help control what appears to be a mild case of tourretes that is triggered by moving pictures on a screen.

While I appreciate that you want to make sure that we all heard what the characters said, I can assure you my hearing is fine and that I understood the dialogue the first time. It really isn’t necessary that you parrot it back at the screen. I also do not need clarification on what just happened as I was there and watching the film with you and have a comprehension level that ranks somewhere above that of a three year old.

To the parents who have decided to attend the theatre, I applaud your devotion to bringing young minds to witness the art form that is the feature film. However, I’m not sure that your five year old truly needs to have the nightmares and possible years of therapy that come from watching a gore-filled horror movie which was clearly created with more mature viewers in mind. I also don’t feel that your child’s interactive screaming does much for my immersion in the film.

I know how busy our lives can be, and how dependent we have become on technology to give us important updates and keep our communications running strong. Far be it from me to deny you what must certainly have been a very important phone call or Twitter update, but I would be ever so grateful if you could take it outside. Ringtones very rarely fit with the theatrical score of the film, and the dramatic lighting of your face by the screen of your phone would be better suited for telling a campfire tale.

Please understand how grateful I am that you wish to ensure that I stay awake through the entire movie, but is it truly necessary to kick the back of my seat to make sure I’m still conscious? I also don’t believe that I am in any need of posture correction even though you try so hard to push my seat forward with not one, but both of your feet.

In conclusion, I would like to thank each and every one of you for your efforts in making my movie going experience more and more annoying. With any luck I will one day be finally driven to the edge and the blood bath that will follow will earn me the 15 minutes of fame that I so desperately crave. I hope you will be there on that day to witness the glory shortly before I rend your head from your shoulders and drop it in your tub of popcorn.

All My Love,

-Macabri

No women allowed?

A friend of mine posted a link to this article earlier, and boy does it make me want to kill something. (Though, according to some people quoted in that post, I’d rather be playing with babies and gossiping with the neighbours.)

It really comes as no surprise that gender bias is still alive and well in the nerd world, but there’s really no excuse for it. I cringe at the idea that some guys think all we female gamers are good for are acting as healers or filling an empty raid slot.

All of this reminds me of yet another discussion I read on a message board where a guy was asking how to make a D&D game that appealed to women. (He was bringing in not one, but TWO girls and wanted to make sure they didn’t get scared away.) A lot of the advice given was essentially that he should dumb it down and that the encounter mechanics would be too confusing for us poor little ladies to comprehend. Yeah, screw you people.

It’s true that a lot of women who do game tend to utilize more casual systems such as the DS and the Wii. I suppose both could be seen as a little less intimidating, but I also think it could be considered the “gateway drug” of gaming were the other systems made a little more gender neutral. There’s no denying that the 360 and PS3 marketing is targeted towards men as are the games available. I’m not suggesting that either the system or the games should be dumbed down, but it would be nice to see a wider array of non-boobified titles available that aren’t things like “Cooking Can Be Fun!” or “Super Animal Fun Time”. (Don’t Google those, I made them up.)

I know I’m in the minority of women who favour the 360 as their gaming system of choice. I’m also not one to be bothered or intimidated by bouncing, bosom-laden fantasy chicks romping across the game screen. (I was the one that picked out the pinup calendar in our computer room that my husband gets blamed for.) However, I can see how these sorts of games might count as a pretty big deterrent to other women.

A large part of the problem (as has been pointed out numerous times across the interweb) is not only caused by men, but by other women. As I noted in an earlier blog post, some girls think that other girls that game are aberrations. They have been given the mindset that games are not for them. It’s a lot like the idea that power-tools are for men and we women-folk are too petite and helpless to do so much as change a light bulb. Better stick to baking.

We have not evolved as much over the decades as we would like to think.

Unfortunately, there’s no one all-encompassing fix for this. Marketing needs to change and perceptions need to change; neither of these tasks can be accomplished easily. If game companies want to invite women to the table they need to do some more strategizing. If men want women to game, they need to be a little more inviting and less patronizing. If women want to game, they need to jump in there, flip everyone the bird, and show them how it’s done. Trust me guys, we can kick your ass.